Quest For Fire

Nola! Ok some luh! Actually on third thought, lots a luv!  Even though it’s not that newish mostly, New Orleans a great town.  I’m not just saying that b/c I got there after I had rode in rain all day, pitched tent in rain, then road the next day completely in rain to get to a dry unrainy Nola.  I’m sayin it as it’s pretty awesome b/c it has it’s own vibe and character thing.  A kind of weird magic, voodoo vibe.  Good thing I already believe in magic!  But if I was one of those lame people who didn’t believe in it, there was tons of street magicians and fortune tellers to convince me otherwise.  

Theres tons of music happening in alot of places even in the streets.  Often a Second Line, or baby parade, will just break out with people and rando drunko’s dance/marching to the music.  It’s awesome and the policin’ cops escort them to make sure its more legit but mostly to add the whole flashing siren lights thing to the party.  Wayyy better with flashing lights!

Even though it can be rough at parts, I found that if you just look like a road traveled vagabond with burly facial hairs, you’ll be unrobbed and unstabbed.  It’s one of the best ways to be.

I went to Bourbon street.  Total misnomer is it was just a regular people walking street and the only alcohol I saw was in long, neon colored alcohol, not bourbon.  It’s ok, I still wasn’t out danced by people drankin neon drank.  

Went on a haunted tour but didn’t see any ghosts.  Probably b/c they only like to spook people that don’t believe in them.  Way more fun that way.  I mean that’s what I would do if I was one, that and hang with civil war ghosts and talk about battles and stuff.  Just acting like a Joshua.  You know i’d be a spooky motorcyclin’ ghost like the ghost rider but with a side car with a wolf spirit in it!  Whoooooo!

A great moment for me was when I was allowed to ride a swing that professional lady folk of old got to swing on once upon a time.  Basically, my bottom got to connect to thousands of proffesional lady folk bottoms of years gone.  What can I say, I’m blessed.

The peeps up in that muh were nice like as well.  I was welcomed by a Mark who let me sleep on his comfy couch.  I’m actually kinna sick of all the beef between the “C” Marcs and “K” Marks.  We gotta stick together under one Marck banner!  We started the new truce by hanging and him letting me ride his Triumph.  I know, so triumphant our Marck victory!   I made sure to ride the British moto whilst I wore my ‘Murica flag helmet.  N.A.T.O. Moto!  And I had my Billy and Elton J tour shirt to make it more N.A.T.O.-ier!!!

Look on your map and find Texas and see where Houston’s at.  That’s probably where most of these pictures where taken.  Man, that woulda sounded better if it rhymed.  Good thing I’m saving my rhymes for my debut album!  Can’t let the haters steal ma rhymin words!  

Houston is much like a more worn in Dallas in some ways.  Oh don’t worry Dallas, the traffic wasn’t as bad as you.  Know one can take that away form you.  And instead of a president having been shot in in it, they got a space command center!   

My best thing about staying in Houston was meeting up with the people of a co-op to have a place to rest my bones.  For those of you not in the the know, a co-op is like one step up from a hippy commune.  Difference is there’s more people wearing shoes and carpeted areas and only a little less guitar playing.  Don’t worry though, the positive vibes are still there though.  And you get woken up in the morning by 10+ people doing their morning routine!?  Bonus!  

I did some hang sessions in Montrose which is considered the art district.  There’s fun times to be had in that part of town.  Went to an art show there that had a room full of lasers with a fortune teller.  I mean, it kinda defeats the point of having some one telling you your future in a ROOM OF LAZERS!  Who cares about their future fortune if they are already in a room with beams of light crossing and weaving a majestic space of awesome heck yeah visiony stuff!!

I would also suggest that you check out Texas Junk Company.  They basically have an incredible selection of used cowboy boots.   Go there and get some unless you’re one of those weird people who doesn’t like cowboy boots.  Gross, stop reading my words!  Haha!  Just kidding, cowboy boot wearers aren’t all mean!

Had a splendid time in Houstey and would like to thank Paul and er’ body at the Rosalie House.  Y’all know who you are and although it’s been some time since I was there, I haven’t forgotten you.  Hi five each other and imagine it’s me!

Marky does Dallas!  Or that town did me.  It was the traffic that did it too.  Apparently D-town is super important!  Why else would all these people be driving around in it!  There must have been a Dallas Cowboy’s memorobillia sale goin on somewhere in town the week and a half period I was there.  Must’ve been one of those sales where if you drive a Mercedes Benz you get a discount.  You also get a discount for honking your horn at motorcycle riders that are driving up the middle lane in stopped highway traffic.  I’m glad some people took advantage of my lane splitting while I did it.  

Dallas don’t care if your the leader of the free world, motorcycle rider, or a person who knows how to correctly use the word “don’t.”  It’ll show you the most beautiful city sky line at night.  I really do mean this.  Between the tall silvery reflective building, the light up ball tower thing, the giant green light one and assorted smaller building with strategic lighting DT D looked great at night.  If I was another city nigh sky light, I’d totally try to get Dallas’s number.  Hopefully she wouldn’t draw her gun on me and shoot me.  Don’t believe me, just watch Robo Cop.  It was totally filmed there.

I went to grassy knoll to see where the presidential assignation occurred and it looked just like it did on all the TV shows about it.  It was especially real for me b/c I kept seeing the same guy around the area who kept wanting to talk to me b/c I had a shirt with my favorite jet on it, the SR-71 Black Bird.  It’s the only jet that the Beatles wrote a song for so I get why people are totally into them.  The X-men even rode around in one for cryin’ out loud!  Any ways, I’d go the gas station to grab so hot cheatos and takis and bam, there was the guy.  I went back to my friends car to pay the parking dude and bam!  He was there too.  I’m just glad I had a creeper at the site to give me a good uneasy feeling about visiting the grassy knoll.  Way better than just feeling regular when going there.  

I also went to the JFK memorial which in it’s own words was erected and “… not a memorial to the pain and sorrow of death, but stands as a permanent tribute to the joy and excitement of one man’s life”  It does this by showing solemn square slab of marble with JFK’s name on it in an empty walled space modeled after a cenotaph, or open grave.  Ha!  And some people think you can’t learn new words from listening to heavy metal!   And being as I refuse to be totally bummed out by this monument that reminds that a person is dead even though it’s not supposed to, I’ll think of it as the sweetest spot JFK’s ghost to haunt people.  Think about it, tons of unsuspecting tourists walking around.  Tons of dudes wanting to talk to people in SR-71 black bird shirts but instead get to get scared by a ghost.  It would be sweet for a presidential spector!  If you’re one of those weirdos (bad kind) that don’t believe in ghosts, not even for fun, I’ll say I guess a JFK impersonator could totally come in there and stand in the middle. Yeah, not as awesome as a haunting sesh.

Dallas also taught me that if you love something, make an 80-million dollar stadium commemorating it.  No joke, they have an 80-million doll hair (US) stadium for high school football.  It’s pretty awesome.  I used the bathroom there and they even had individual urinals, something not even my college stadium had (they had troughs or depending on your life outlook, level of inebriation, and susceptibility to peer pressure, bath tubs).  My host’s Amy and Alan or as they known on the mean streets, the A-team, indulged me by taking me to a game.  I even was fortunate enough to catch a field goal after it had been kicked though.  You know 80 million dollar stadiums don’t put up field goal nets as a fun perk for the fans who have high enough class to attend such an event.

If you do make it out to Dally Tally, make sure to hit up section of town called Deep Ellum.  I know it sounds like you’ll need to pack some cave exploring gear but you can just go in your regular surface walking clothes.  I saw the Reverend Horton Heat there who are home town band who play rockabilly jamz.  I also hung out at the greatest of bars called Juley Alley.  It was full of wierdos with awesome stories from as far as Fort Worth!  Haha, just kidding.  Met a pro-skater from England who knew of Kona Skate park when I told him I was originally from Jacksonville, FL.  Met photographer from NYC.  Got to ride another motorcycle that was little and awesome!  Met a goil who was filming for a not so realitical reality show and much much more.  I guess you’ll have to find me in person to get all the stories :)

I had a great time in Dallas and would like to thank Amy, Allan, and their dog, Jackson, who followed me around the house as he was born for people with low self esteem.  To Cristen for showing me some cool spots and feeding me some Dallas foods.

Austin starts with the same vowel sound that the word awesome does and it aint no ka-nicka-nick.  Austin, TX has the goods.  What kinda goods?  How ‘bout tons of babes, delish food, used coybow boots, bands jammin’ jams and all kinds of awesome.

Austin is hands down one of my favorite cities in these United States.  The thing that really drove it home for me was how nice every one is.  Nothing epitomized this more than trip to the grocery store in which every interaction I had with humans was positive one.  Parked my moto next another dude and swapped riding tales immediately, had an old man unprovokedly tell me some jokes, had a lady laugh at my remarks about her choice of cereal and had funny talk with some rando dude about the magazines in while waiting in check out.  It was like a music video to the song Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head and I was just buying PB&J ingredients!

One of the nights I went out I happened on what looked like a honky tonk band all dressed to the nines with cowboy hats, bolo ties, sunglasses, and suits complete with telecaster guitars who then proceeded to play heavy metal covers!  What the what!?  

Austin does all kinds of weird and different stuff.  I went to a saloon that does chicken poop bingo.  It’s like regular bingo but instead of doin the boring regular random number drawing, the numbers are drawn by where a chicken in a cage takes a doo doo.  It’s especially hilarious when you realize how many grown adults are sitting around watching a chicken relieve it’s bowels.   

When you combine the good eats, good peeps, and chickens making bingo happen, you get a cool place like Austin.  There’s a music festival there like every month.  It’s quite awesome, or Austum.  I highly recommend this town.  Don’t let my lack of pictures fool you.  In fact let them convey that did more fun having than picture taking which really the best way.  Austin even had my favorite pinball machine for dang sakes! 

Special thanks to PN Peck and his lady girl, Alissa.  Their blow up mattress was quite exceptional!  That and they are great human beings :)

Remember the Alamo!  Also remember the cherry picker they parked out front of it!  I was soooo glad that it was there for the photos i took of it.  No wonder Texan’s have a lot of pride.  They had cherry picker technology well ahead of every one else during Davey Crocket time!

The funny thing about the Alamo besides it’s lack of basement, is that it’s actually in the middle of downtown San Antonio.  And when I say down town San Antone, I mean big buildings and everything.  Due to a Texan law, it is forbidden to build buildings taller than the Alamo behind the Alamo.  They probably take your bolo ties and shootin riffles away or something if you break it.  B/c of this, the Alamo always looks like it’s in just a flat deserty area in movies or in your memory when you’re remembering it.  

Right next to Alamo is spectacular Texas-oh-yeah statue commemorating those who died at the Alamo.  It’s got the main dudes who fought against Santa Ana, a lady liberty on the back and this dude ascending up with v-for-victory hands.  It’s basically to legit to quit-excuse me-2legit2quit.  

San Antone is complete with a river walk that runs through it which is basically the sickest jet ski race track ever made ever.  I didn’t see an jet ski racin’ on it but I’m sure it happens. It has to!

Spur town is definitely in a region that is very Tex Mex.  Aside from making it a food eater’s paradise (had the best chicken tortilla soup ever), it’s not uncommon to see a TexMexian dude with a cowboy hat drving a super huge truck all the while having Mariachi blasting at a bagillion decibels.  I know!  Thank goodness!

I would like to extend a very special thanks to my gracious host, Jaime, for being totally cool and having a place for this dude to crash.

When my favorite rockin’ band, Thin Lizzy, wrote Cowboy Song, they must of been talking about West Texas.  Wes-Tex (spoken quickly) is just cowboyee.  Deserts; mountains; dudes blocking your way on a road b/c they are moving cattle; and bar owners with cowboy hats, mustaches and eye patches.  They’re all here!

When arrived in Wes-Tex, I proceeded to immediately run out of gas.  While the jury is still out on whether EVERYTHING is bigger in TX, the stretches of road from town to town are.  Luckily for me I saw a sign in the brush in that in big letters that said “GAS.”  Even luckier, I was greeted by a dude with a southern drawl (first one in a while, thank Gord) who proceeded to fill up my gas tank while his talking mouth held a lit cigarette.  Ya’ll know the one.  It’s the motorcycle gas tank that to fill you have to stand over it whilst petrol fumes come spill out.  Oh, don’t worry, the gas container was large and barely manageable with two grown man arms.  I’m so I’m blessed.  Some people get to Wes-Tex and don’t run out of gas.  They totally miss out on the pleasure of finding gas at the last second in the middle of the desert.  Even more so, some people don’t have the unforgettable pleasure having a redneck guy dangerously fill your tank as he’s smoking a fag.  Most importantly, some people could have this happen and not know it’s a blessing and that’s what I’m most thankful for.  And yeah, I just typed that so clearly I din’t get lit on fire nor did my bike.

Wes-Tex has Marfa, TX in it.  Marfa is a cool little artist town.  Think of it like a Joshua Tree (see previous posts on Joshy tree.  It’s a cool place, well warm actually b/c it’s in the desert but you get me) in Texas ‘cept when you go to the gas station there, you stand a pretty good chance at seeing a guy with spurs on his boots.  They’ll be covered in dirt from coyboyin’ all day.  Remember, this is Wes-Tex, all that stuff about having cattle in the not-so-hospitable desert really happens here.  

Marfa also has the Marfa Lights which are the equivalent of the Texan Aurora Borealis.  There’s even a nice rest stop that some local land owners donated to erect a place you can pee in while watching for the lights.  I can attest to place as I spent the night next to it in my tent freezing the parts of me that wasn’t covered by motorcycle jacket as I had every possible layer of clothing on and a sleeping bag.  I did see some lights although nothing really that couldn’t have been cell or radio tower.  However, since it won’t be disproven, I’m just gonna believe the lights I saw were the magic ones spoken of.  There, now my life just got a little better.  Thanks belief!   The lights were so small pictures really didn’t capture much of anything.  You’ll just have to use your imagination.  And you thought you wouldn’t have to do that on the internet!

If and when you go to Marfa, make sure to hit up the town’s saloon, the Lost Horse.  The night was pretty cold; somewhere below freezing.  I wasn’t sure if should find camp or mingle with the locals but on the insistance of a coin flip, I checked out the bar.  Glad I did b/c it was awesome.  The bar owner, Ty, was a great guy.  He had a southern accent that sounded Sam Elliot, a killer stache, a cowboy hat and an eye patch.  An EYE PATCH!  Bought every one a round of drinks and took pictures with me and several other travelers.  To make matters texasier, a tex mex dude, also with a cowboy hat, was at the corner of the bar singing to the marriachi that was playing on speakers.  He knew all the words and when a horn part or lyric he liked played, he yell out a loud “aaayyyyeeeeeeeeeee” with a grin on his face. The saloon had cow skulls on it too!  I looked at the girl next to me and asked if this place was real.  She said “yeah” so it must’ve been.

And Marfa is close to another word that could be used in conjunction with a curse word?!  Not that I say those.  They’re bad, y’all!   If you go to the desert, check West Texas.  Even the rest stop bathrooms have cowboyee tile art in em!

Special thanks to Sash and Ash!  Thanks for the photo. Travel safe!

Starts with an “R” and ends with “idin’ Randoms”

That’s right people and aliens that will eventually go on the internet, Ridin’ Randoms!   

These were taken in what is probably the best place to ride a motor cyclin’ bike in the US-o-A, the South West.  Good people, weather and big country are there.  Well except the good weather part b/c the first snow was coming in from the north west behind a cold front.  I was riding to not be in it.  It was pretty exciting b/c if I broke down for even a day, I’d be covered in snow and freezin’ ma man parts.  It was like playing high stakes poker except no cards and instead I was riding a motorcycle across Arizona, New Mex and Tex.

The wind made my New Mex ride so gnar, some times I couldn’t see more from the sand blowing every which way.  However, once the break in the clouds would come, it was something beautiful; a great reminder that sometimes grinning and persevering is rewarded.

I made it on the Navajo rez and did the whole eat fry bread (think Navajo version of funnel cakes….mmmmmmm….Navajo version of funnel cakes), saw a dude who was walking across the earth (know b/c he had a website on his cart for it) and bought a nice Oldman/Gambler/Perv ring fashioned right there in the rez.  I would like to thank my boi, Moto Bikin’ Alex from Chi-city Chicago who gave me the idea at Burning Man!

While in New Mex, I went by the Very Large Array, which is basically a large array (I know!  who woulda thunkit?) that’s used for radio astronomy.  It’s even cooler when you imagine Jodie Foster there with you giving you a tour in her Kermit, The Frog, like voice.  Sucha a babe!

Visited the Carlsbad caverns and let me tell you, it wasn’t the Carlsgood caverns.  All I could think about was how cool it would be to live at the bottom of ‘em.  So bad!

I also went to the petrified forrest.  A million bilion zillion years ago these trees fell down and got covered in doo doo mud.  They then became really cool looking rocks that should be made into jewelry.  I’m not talking about perv rings, although I can unbiasedly say dem thangs are sweet, I’m talking about a big ole gangsta necka-lace or a super gnar belt buckle.  I guess the good thing about them being protected by the national park system is now this place that inspires great visions of amazing jewelry will be preserved for generations. 

Grand Canyon so grand, it gets another blog post!  

The canyon also has a neato-burrito tower on it that’s adorned with Native American art.  It gives you a great vantage to look out at the vastness of the mother beezshmo.  And like every tower I’ve been on, it makes you wish you had a bone’n arrow to shoot at stuff with.

I actually intended on hiking the canyon with newly acquainted friend, Toronto Jesse, named that b/c well, that’s where she’s from.  I knew the dangers as I had already seen the Brady Bunch episodes where they went down in the canyon.  I aint ‘fraid a no snake!  However, some work circumstances arose for TJ and forced me to take the trip by myself.  

To make matters more adventured, there was a large cold front coming through with the season’s first snow.  I had literally one day to see the G-Can as fast as I could before the next day dropped below freezin’ with snow.  Sadly my bike isn’t one of those ones that transforms into snow mobile so I had to move it.  That meant no hikes and no eating your hiking partner b/c you’re snowed in and forced to cannibalism.

Good thing motorcycles are faster than snow storms.  Long story short:

Northern AZ snow storm 0

Marc Alessandria 1

The Grand Canyon is not misnomered!   Or maybe it is b/c grand almost doesn’t do it justice to how big the dang things.   In fact I think if “gigorbus” had been in the english lexicon at the time, it would have been named the Gigobrus Canyon by the white people that ignored whatever the natives named it.   However grand was all they had and dangnummit was it not good enough.

This thing is so big, I disavow any fat momma jokes using the size of the canyon to relate to the size of someone’s obese mother.  You can see the thing from space!  Suck it great wall of China!  Oh?  What’s that, you’re cooler b/c you were built by people and not Jesus?!  if that’s the case, how come there are bunch of Chinamen tourist folk walking all over the GC?!  Score board, Mao’s republic!

When you look down the canyon, you’ll see a cliff that leads to another step and eventually another cliff which in turn leads to another break going deeper.  This happens like 4 or 5 times until you can’t see the bottom.  Told you no fat momma could fill this thing!

Even the diarama’s and diagrams of the G-Canyon were massive.  The lobby of the park included a floating planet to show how you could see this thing from space no problem.  Not only that, but it made me realize I need one of these suspended/light-up planets in my house, cept it won’t be the Earth, it’ll be the Death Star!  Sick!

The pictures shown really don’t bring home how massive this thing is and that’s great.  That way when you go there yourself your mind will get good and blown.  Even standing next to the rail to take photos was a little nerve racking.  Luckily I scored the sweetest Star Trek shirt in Phoenix that features the alien race known as the Klingons.  It was in remembering their honor code and bravery that helped keep me confident in the face of potential cliff fallin.

Duh duh deh deh duh-deh 

ARI-ZONA!!!

it’s got lots of rocks. Lots of rocks.  When I was motorcycling through ARIZONA!

You better have sang that just now like the My Sharona song by the Knack.  It’ll make your life better.  Just like visiting Arizona.

It’s got Mesa’s, mountains, desert and rocks!  Tons of em and dang do they look good.  Not to mention I finally saw some crucial cacti there!  I’m talking me huge ones that are so tall, if you were depressed, you could put on a sombrero and sit underneath it all sad like.  A good chunk of the photo’s of rocks were taken just north of Phoenix in Sedona, AZ.  It’s pretty good lookin up in that muh!

I stayed in Phoenix AZ b/c I figured if it’s named after a mystical bird of fire that can’t be killed it must be cool!  I’m glad I did as it was great town.  I didn’t see any mystycal birds up in it but they make sure to put the bird symbol on all the street signs to remind you.  Risen from the ashes!!!  Ashes probably from the heat of the summers there in mystical bird town but hey, I went in the fall and it was nothing but wearing shorts and eating ice-cream.  Both regular and astronaut of course!

But did I dress up as a gypsy for Halloween?!  Dang yeah, I did.  The best thing about dressing up like that was getting different names from people.  One guy even called me Barabus!  Dang dude, it aint Easter yet!

I would like to graciously thank my couchsurfing host, Freedom, for making me welcome in her home.  He’s great just like the thing she’s named after!  To her son, Cedar.  You better be reading this, dude!  And special shout to Amanda’n Chief for laughing at my jokes and understanding the pleasures of astronaut ice-cream.